A Bad-Mommy Day

Last Friday was not a good day. I felt like a terrible mother who was incapable of caring for her own child! I called Kevin crying and cried some more when he got home. I questioned why I am staying home when someone else could probably take better care of Caleb than me (yes...it was a REALLY bad day). I was reading a book this weekend called Celebrations of Faith and read the following paragraph. It spoke directly to my situation and my feelings that day...

"Today I didn't say the right things. I didn't give enough hugs. I didn't listen to all their imaginary stories. Today I hurried them through what could have been very special moments, to achieve my binding agenda. Today my prayers were too short and my lectures too long. My smiles, I'm sure, didn't hide my fatigue. Today I didn't heal any wounds; in fact, I'm sure I caused some. Their tears fell and I felt too lifeless to wipe them away. Today I felt completely defeated and totally inadequate for this position called "mommy." But as I kneel in prayer to confess my failures, I am reminded...I am not their hope. I am not their total joy. I am not their salvation. He is!"

I don't have to be a perfect mother, as long as I am pointing my children to the One who is and always will be perfect. In fact, my imperfections help them to see just how much we all need a savior. Thank goodness we are not in this parenting thing alone...we have a Heavenly Father who loves our children even more than we can!

I think God knew that I needed some special times after Friday to build up my confidence in myself as a mother (I have always struggled with confidence in every area of my life). Caleb and I have enjoyed so many amazing and precious moments together this week. I am amazed by his tender heart, loving nature, and zest for life. He is truly one amazing child and I love him more every day! And I once again feel a little like I know what I'm doing. As I have poured out all of my concerns to God, I feel so at peace. I am not even as anxious about the craziness of caring for two kiddos as I have been the past couple of weeks!

PS-Here are some pictures I took of Caleb as I was playing around with my camera...these are pre-haircut!

I was tickling him in this picture...that's my knee on the right. :)